Islam Guidance

I was raised in a Non-Religious home. Where I would hardly ever go to church. My mother did not care about religion and my father did not care about religion. I was raised in a Culturally Christian Home when you did celebrate Christmas but you did not know why. It was just a day of materialism.

While I was a child and I did not really know much about God but I firmly had a strong belief and a strong fear of the rath of God (as I was a child). every night in fear of god I did not know anything else to say except (I love god). I would say this so much I would just fall asleep saying it.

when I was in the third grade It was the time of Christmas. My mother did not have the money to buy us gifts. she had just divorced and hardly had enough money to pay the bills. so because of this she knew a Christian man at her work that was taking children and getting them gifts for themselves and for their families. After We had gotten our gifts and it was the end of the day this man gave me a King James Version of the Bible. I took it thankfully with me to my home.

The next day I was going to my grandmothers house and I took that bible with me. When I saw my grandmother packing some old books of hers I asked her to put my bible in those boxes because i knew I was a young child and i did not want to lose my Bible.

So years past and I did not see that bible a gain for a long time. Finally when I started High school was in my grandmothers house and I saw that bible she had packed away for me so long ago. I took it with me to another city hundreds of miles away. I was going to school far away from were my family was due to a small vision problem that I have.

So I was at the school and I put that Bible away for a while. I felt i did not need it I was not so religious at that time in my life. I had kind of left religion alone for a few years because the ways of my mother and father had effected me but I still had that belief in God.

As time went on that school year i started to feel a void in myself like something was missing. I remember thinking to my self scarily that I was going to go to hell. I felt like i was just going to be condemned to hell. I was depressed because I did not know what the truth was. yeah I know of Christianity but people made it up into a joke a lot of the time and if they were not making a joke of it it was just a show to watch. I was more culture than anything and I hated that. I did not have much respect for Christians or Christianity at that time.

I had no other choice than to look into that bible that was given to me so many years ago because I did not know of any other religion besides Christianity. When I picked up that bible I had no idea what it was saying because it was in that old English that no one speaks. You know the KJV (King James Version). I could not understand it but i gave it my all i started to get it but there was just something missing. I tried to deal with it not really knowing of any other bible that I could understand so I put Christianity away for a year or so.

As time went on I just could not stand not knowing the truth. So i started to go back to church. I found a NIV bible in my church and that thing was the most easiest thing to understand. I was going to church every Sunday 4 times a month plus every 3 time during the week when they would have a program going on. I was one of the most active members of that church but as time went on Things were just not feeling right. I could just feel in my soul that this was just not the right religion.

I believed in everything the bible said I would not question even a dot of what the Bible was saying.

then came a dream that I will never ever forget. I had this dream many times. I was dreaming that I was sitting down and Jesus (Peace and blessing of Allah (SWT) be upon him) was teaching me. What he was showing me was a beautiful gold wall but this wall had become corrupted. This was a wall of golden bricks but in some parts of this wall some of the golden bricks were taken out and replaced with what i would describe as dirty mud.

I then remember sitting at a table with my head down and Jesus  (Peace and blessing of Allah (SWT) be upon him) was also sitting at the table with his head down as well. I think he had something in front of him but I am not sure but from what I remember he was teaching me how the religion that he came to teach had been corrupted. What he was teaching me was not in words it is very hare to explain. but during the dream I took in 150% of what he was telling me and I believed and understood  what he had said..

After that dream I remember waking up on my back wondering what the dream was all about. I did not remember really what i was being taught until i became a Muslim and I understood the signs but the thing that i knew after that dream is that I had to find the truth.

As time went on I was looking into the Jewish faith. I liked it at the time and I called a rabbi to talk to him but because i still held the belief of a Christian as Jesus being the son of god he harshly hung up the phone on me and i did not care to look at the Jewish faith.

After Years of being subject to the anti Islamic propaganda by the west i grew to hate Islam and Muslims. But that was something on my political views. I did not like it in that aspect of my life but in another aspect of my life I could mute out the sound of the propaganda and watch these shows about the Muslims. I would see how they pray and I liked it. I would see how these people could memorize the HOLE QURAN and I loved it. I was trying to memorize parts of the bible and yes I did. Just things you would hear in the movies lol.

I saw that these Muslims were for real and I needed to check them out. So while I was on the internet I would try to find something that was about Islam but when you don't know a thing about Islam its hard to find something of use to you. Well it was at least to me.

I downloaded a Quran but I did not read it as you should. I just opened it up in the middle and I had no idea what was going on. I should have started from the very first chapter to the second and so on and so forth but I did not. so when I was reading the quran on my computer my dad walked by and he saw what I was doing and he said" I' AM NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY DAMB MUSLIMS LIVING UNDER MY ROOF" It kinda scared me for a while.

I would not really look into Islam online in fear my dad would do something. but one day when we were at the book store i had this DEEP DEEP desire to go and see if i could find a quran but seeing as how i can not see well I would have need to ask a person who worked their for help but it was not even a year after 911 so I was scared that they would say something and I did not want my dad to see me in that part of the book store. So I did not look into Islam for a few months but I had still this deep desire to learn as much as I could about Islam

It was after I left my fathers home to leave leave for new Mexico where my grandfather and grandmother needed me because they were growing of old age and could not do the things they use to do. They needed me to help them with those things they could not do anymore

After I had been in new Mexico with my grandparents I looked into Islam again. I found a website about how Christian Preachers and Priests and ministers were all becoming Muslims. This was the most interesting thing I had ever come across.

So I looked at that site read the story on how this one preacher came to Islam and all that and then alhamdullilah I found a lot of other sites about Islam that had good information and everything seemed to be going good learning about Islam. the same day i went back to the website about the preacher becoming Muslim and i read almost everything i could get my mouse to click on .

Towards the end of my visit to his website and after reading everything he had posted there I went back to that story on how he became a Muslim. Towards the end of his story was out in his back yard talking with this Muslim man that was staying with him. they talked all night about how his wife is becoming Muslim and about Islam in general and so when that Muslim man walked off to go pray in the house the preacher was still out there walking around and thinking

He saw a piece of plywood leaning against a tree and he took it and faced it towards Mecca and he made his prostration and while he was doing this he said "OH GOD IF YOUR THERE GUIDE ME" when I was reading that prayer that he was making I was not just reading it I was praying it also. and when i prayed that prayer for guidance, I was guided. It felt like a bold of lightning came down and struck me

it was so beautiful I will never forget that feeling of finding what you have been looking for for so many years.......

After that I called a masjid and someone picked me up and I made my first shahadah.

The website that helped me come to islam is www.islamtomorrow.com. that's the site about he preacher coming to Islam

This is the ending of one story but it is the beginning of another

If you have any questions about how I changed and how my life was changed please ask and I will get back to you as soon as I can

It took me more than an hour to type this up so i hope ya'll got something from it Insha'Allah .

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