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Solution of sexual problem

Solution of sexual problem

The Islamic teachings which do not ignore any natural desires and the different physical and mental faculties of the individuals and take into consideration all possible social needs, have realistically suggested a via media to solve this problem. The solution proposed by Islam is in conformity with the realities of life and at the same time saves society from an oppressive turmoil which may throw

 the family system into disarray. In view of the fact that sexual urge is one of the most irresistible desires of the individual, it is evident that, if a right and lawful way to satisfy it is not found, corruption and perversion are inevitable. The Islamic teachings have shown a practical way to resist passions, to keep away from the external forces, stimulating sex and to use the physical and mental faculties in a constructive way commensurate with human life. In view of the fact that everybody has not the power to resist passions and that such resistance sometimes produces undesirable effects, Islam has given a lot of instructions to facilitate marriage, such as those regarding lessening dower, keeping the marriage expenses to the minimum and avoiding unnecessary ceremonies. Thus it has removed many hurdles. Even the students and appren­tices before they are self‑supporting can contract marriage in a simple manner and need not wait till they are 3 0 or 3 5 years old when they complete their higher education or specialize in a particular branch of learning. At this age they usually lose the fervour of the youth and marry simply to get rid of suspense and unsettled life.

 Further, with a view to solve the sex problem in the cases where man and woman or boy and girl find no way to permanent marriage, the law of Islam has suggested a sort of non‑permanent marriage, called mut`ah.

 In this kind of marriage the aim is not to form a family. It is only to have legal sexual relations during a period mutually agreed. That is why the agreement in this respect should be very clear and definite.

 Formula of fixed‑time marriage

The formula is actually a text of the agreement concluded between the parties. It is usually pronounced in Arabic.

 The woman says:

 Zawwajtoka nafsi fil muddatil ma'loomati alas sidaaqil ma `loom

 And the man says: `Qabiltu'' Or for example the woman says in English: "I gave myself in marriage to you for the period (as fixed) for the dower (as fixed)" and the man says: "I accepted".

 It is to be remembered that the children begotten out of this non‑permanent wedlock enjoy all the rights and privileges of the children of the permanent marriage and in this respect the family system of Islam presents no problem.

 Contrary to the conception of those who hold that the legalization of non‑permanent marriage may give currency to free and unlimited relations and thus promote immorality, this scheme is an effective factor in checking debauchery and the consequent disruption of the families. It may be seen in practice that consequent on the confining of legal marriage to the permanent union only and ignoring other individual and social needs, free sexual relations, with all their undesirable effects, exist with some variation in all societies. Those who criticize this sort of marriage, have practically put and are still putting it into practice in some other way. (For details a reference may be made to "The Shia' ‑ Origin and Faith", ISP, 1982).

 Now let us see what is the difference in the rules of the permanent and fixed‑time marriages.

 Rules of fixed‑time marriage

Besides the specification of the period of marriage and the amount of dower, there are certain other rules in regard to fixed‑time marriage which may be noted:

 (1) As the main aim of this kind of marriage is not the formation of a permanent family and shouldering the onerous responsibility of rearing up children, each of the parties can take steps to prevent the birth of a child, whereas in the case of permanent marriage that is possible only by the mutual agreement of the husband and wife.

 (2) If a child is born from fixed‑time wedlock, the man is responsible to maintain him and provide enough means for his bringing up.

 (3) In the case of fixed‑time marriage the husband is not responsible to maintain his wife, unless there is an agree­ment in this respect.

 (4) In this sort of marriage the husband and the wife do not inherit each other.

 (5) The rule regarding the prohibition of establishing sexual relations with others during the period of contract is the same as in the case of permanent marriage.

(6) After the expiry of the period' of contract the husband and the wife are automatically separated and there is no need of divorce. Iddah will be imposed only if there has been consummation. It has been ordained with a view to ascertain the paternity of the child that may be born after the termination of marriage. The period of probation in this case is the period covered by two menstrual courses, that is about 2/3 of the iddah of the permanent marriage.

 (7) In this sort of marriage, the man and the woman may stipulate a condition that their sexual relations will be of limited nature, and, for example, they will not have inter­course. The man is obligated to abide by the condition agreed upon. Hence such a marriage can be useful during the period of engagement and may be a sort of courtship and trial without a feeling of sin before contracting a permanent marriage.

 Anyhow, even in this sort of marriage the wife can sti­pulate at the time of contracting marriage that she will be entitled to any or all the benefits to which a wife is entitled in case of permanent marriage.

 Basic differences between permanent and fixed‑time marriages If we go through the rules of the fixed‑time marriage we can observe that it differs from the permanent marriage in the following points:

 In this marriage the responsibilities which normally go with the formation of a family do not exist. The husband is not required to provide the means of living of his fixed‑time spouse or to bear the expenses of her daily life.

 Each of the parties can take contraceptive measures. In the case of permanent marriage birth control can be resorted to only with the consent of both the parties.

 There is no moral or legal difficulty in separation at the termination of this marriage, whereas in the case of divorce after contracting permanent marriage there is usually a feeling of anxiety about the future of the other party or of the children.

 This kind of union being lawful, there should be no feeling of sin, no twinge of guilt and no conscience prick. That is not the case with illicit relations.

 In the case of the possible birth of a child the responsibility to be borne by the husband is clear.

 After separation the woman cannot remarry within the period of probation if consummation has taken place.

 Fixed‑time marriage prevents free sexual relationship and guards against immorality and unchastity.

If we go into these points, it will be clear that Islam has introduced a reasonable and ingenuous method of meeting the problem. This method is still a part of the Shia'h canon law.

 Fixed‑time marriage from the point of view of others

Those who have looked at this question from a realistic angle, admit that a sort of non‑permanent marriage is a reasonable and scientific way of lessening the pressure of sexual urge and preventing it from flowing into a dangerous course. It also saves one from the mental distress caused by a feeling of committing a sin and digressing from the moral principles and legal provisions.

 Fixed‑time marriage has attracted the attention of a number of Western thinkers. The well‑known British philosopher of the 20th century, Bertrand Russell, says: Can the young persons be told to be ascetic and monkish? Is there any asSurance that in spite of having free and unlimited sexual relations these young persons will ‑be chaste and faithful after they choose a spouse and marry? Can the increase of the illegitimate children and their impact on the general conditions of the society be over­looked?

 How can this problem be solved? What solution does social experience suggest? Note what the same thinker adds: Judge Lindsey who served for a long time at the Denver Court of justice had an ample opportunity to observe facts. He proposed that there should be an arrange­ment called companionate marriage. Unfortunately he had to lose his official job, because it was observed that he was interested in the well‑being of the youth rather than creating a sense of sin in them. The Catholics and the Ku‑klux‑klan left no stone unturned to secure his dismissal. Lindsey noticed that the basic problem of marriage was lack of money. Money is required not only on account of possible children, but also because it is not proper that women should provide means of living. As such he con­cludes that young persons should resort to companionate marriage which is different from normal marriage in three ways:

 Firstly, this marriage does not aim at producing progeny. Secondly, so long as the wife does not conceive and does not give birth to a child, divorce will be available with the consent of the parties.

Thirdly, in the case of divorce the wife will be entitled to alimony.

 There can be no doubt about the effectiveness of the Lindsey proposal. Had the law accepted it, it would have had great impact on the improvement of morals.

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