Islam Guidance

Dear Husband/Wife: A tip from the commander of the faithful, Imam Ali(as) on how to live happily?

The task of a wife is to maintain and take care of a husband. It is not an easy undertaking. Those women who are unaware of this feature of their role, may find difficulty in fulfilling the task. It is a job for the woman who is aware that the job requires a degree of sagacity, style, and ingenuity. For a woman to be a successful wife, she should win over her husband's heart and be a source of comfort to him. She should encourage him to do good deeds while dissuading him from bad ones. She should also provide adequate measures to maintain his health and well-being. The results of her efforts are directed towards making the man into a kind and respected husband who would be a proper guardian for his family, and a good father from whom the children would seek guidance and respect. Allah, the All-Knowing has endowed woman with extraordinary power. The prosperity and happiness as well as the misery of the family are in her hands.
A woman can turn the home into a lofty paradise or a burning hell. She can lead her husband to the peak of success or the dregs of misfortune. The woman with the qualities bestowed on her by Allah, who is aware of her role as a spouse, can elevate her husband to a respected man even if he had been the lowest of all men.
"One learned scholar wrote: 'Women possess a strange power in that they are able to acquire whatever they desire'. "
In Islam, taking care of one's husband has an important position. It has been equated to the role of Jihad (holy war in the path of Allah). "Imam Ali (A.S) stated: 'The Jihad of a woman is to take care of her husband well'."[ Bihar al-Anwar, vol 103, p 254]
Considering that Jihad is the struggle and holy war in the path of Allah including the struggle for advancement and honor of Islam, defending the Islamic territories and execution of social justice, it is one of the highest acts of worship. The value of fulfilling the duties of a proper spouse is also reflected upon when considering Jihad.
"The Prophet (P.B.U.H&H.P) of Islam stated: ' Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, enters Paradise'."[ Mahajjat al-Bayda, vol 2, p 70]
The Holy Prophet also stated: "If a woman does not perform her duty as a spouse, she has not done her duty to Allah."[ Mustadrak, vol 2, p 552]

Derived from: Principles of Marriage & Family Ethics
By: Ayatullah Ibrahim Amini

A woman is proud of herself just the same as a man would be. She likes to be respected by others. She would get hurt if she were to be insulted or belittled. She feels good when respected and would hate those who try to degrade her.
Dear Sir! your wife surely expects you to respect her more than others. She has every right to expect her life partner and best friend to care for her.
She works for you and your children's comfort and thus expects you to value her efforts and to respect her. Honoring her would not belittle you but it would indeed go to prove your love and affection towards her. Therefore, respect her more than others and talk to her politely. Do not interrupt her or shout at her. Call her by respectful and virtuous names. Show your respect when she wants to sit down. When you enter the house, if she forgets to say 'Salam' (greetings), then you should say 'Salam' to her.
Say 'Good-bye' when leaving your house. Do not lose contact with her when travelling or away from home. Write to her.
Show your respect for her when in gatherings. Seriously avoid all insults and humiliation. Do not abuse or even jokingly tease her. Do not think that because you are close to her she would not mind you making fun of her. On the contrary she will dislike such an attitude but may not express it.
All women expect their husbands to respect them and all of them hate insults If some women keep silent before their husbands' humiliations, it is not the proof of their satisfaction.
If you respect your wife, she will do the same to you and thus your relationship will grow stronger. You would also earn more respect from others. If you maltreat her and she retaliates, it is again your fault and not hers.
Dear Sir! marrying is not equal to getting a slave. You cannot treat a free person as a slave. Your wife has married you in order to live with you and to share her life with a man whom she loves. She expects the same things from you as you do from her. Therefore treat her in a manner in which you would like to be treated.
"Imam Sadiq (A.S), quoting his father, stated: 'Whoever marries, must respect his wife'." [Bihar al-Anwar, vol 103, p 224]
"The Prophet (P.B.U.H&H.P) of Allah stated: 'Whoever respects a Muslim, Allah would pay him his own respect'." [Ibid, vol 74, p 303]
"The Prophet (P.B.U.H&H.P) of Allah also stated: 'None would respect women except the magnanimous ones, and none would insult them except the ignoble ones.' In addition, the Prophet (P.B.U.H&H.P) of Allah stated: 'Whoever insults his family, would lose happiness in his life'." [Mawa iz al-Adadiyyah, p 151]

Derived from: Principles of Marriage & Family Ethics
By: Ayatullah Ibrahim Amini